Wednesday's Winning Words

In really sad news, a dear friend lost her husband to cancer over the weekend.  Normally, I would not have wanted to share it with Justus because it's obviously a very difficult and sad thing to lay on a child.  But Justus prays for "Glenda's husband, Darrel" every night.  During prayers Sunday night, he said it as usual, and I about lost it.  Kidd and I looked at each other and he asked me if I was going to tell him.  After we finished prayers, I did.  He only sought clarification as to whether that meant he was never coming back, which I confirmed.  He was very sad, but did ok.  The discussion was over.  I should know better than to think that, right?

Monday morning, on our way into town for errands, Justus asked me about it again.  Not specifically about Darrel this time, but about heaven and angels.  He asked me why, when we die, we have to go to heaven.  I talked to him about how nobody HAS to go to heaven, but people who believe in God *get* to go to heaven, and become angels.  We talked about how they watch and see everything, and how awesome it must be to live in heaven where nobody hurts or is sick or is poor or starving.  We talked about being reunited with loved ones we've lost before.  He really seemed to get it.  He understood that people on earth are still sad because we miss the person who died, but that we celebrate that they go to heaven and how heaven is the biggest reward we can imagine.

Next thing I know, he says:  "Mommy, I can't wait to go to heaven and be an angel."

Apparently, I oversold it.

On the inside, I feel my heart in my stomach, screaming "NOOOOOOooooo!  I need like 100 more years with you."  Then, he says "But, after 10 days, I will come back to Earth."  Whew!  I inquired as to why and how, to which he replied "because people will miss me.  I will just bounce really high and jump back to the Earth."

Ok, so maybe he doesn't get ALL the mechanics of the whole going to heaven thing.  And that's ok.  Because he's five, and sadly, he will probably have several more times in his life to grapple with the concepts of death and heaven.  Hopefully I will be there each time (maybe except one) to help him.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son,

that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

John 3:16

Hair.

...and even though I'm headed to NYC in a few days, I'm not talking about the musical.

It seems that lately, I've gotten a number of compliments on Delaney's hair always being done with a bow in place.  I appreciate it. I do.  But, I kind of think people are getting the wrong impression about me (for once, a better version than the actual truth).  If you know me well, you know I am a pretty low maintenance person.  It's a good thing I had a boy first because it requires very little to make him look acceptable in public.  Easy-to-do hair, only a few possible shoe options, and a million polos and pants to choose from and we're out the door.  Basic colors: black, navy, khaki, red, green.  Easy.  Go.

I always wanted a girl.  I really did, but me having a girl is like a special test from God.  I am not exactly the most skilled in the matching of the clothes, shoes, hair accessories, etc.  I wish I were better at it, especially now.  Admittedly, I think I'm doing a pretty decent job so far.  Girl clothes are just too precious.  I figure if I buy enough of them, something is bound to match.  Haha!  I am definitely having fun with it though, even more than I thought I would.

Which brings us back to the hair. Yes, I do Delaney's hair every single day, and generally a bow goes in her hair.  Why not, I've already done the hard part, right?  I have mentioned a time or two that her hair baffles me.  Justus' is straight as a board and thick.  Delaney's is curly and poofy.  I know that's not a technical term, but let's pretend that it is.  I half expected her hair to just fall naturally and heavily down, like mine, even though it is also wavy, or her brothers.  Not so much.  It has this strange fluffy and light quality to it that makes it constantly look like a mass of curly yarn perched upon her head.   I swear to you, when I brush it out, it gets bushier and more unruly.  I just don't get it.  You can't tell when it's dry, but her hair actually goes down to the middle of her back when it's wet and straight.  And, being a toddler, it does not affect her when it gets in her face.  Or her food.  Or her snot. 

But it affects me.

October 2011--Daddy's birthday. 

*Aside from the hair issue, this face makes this one of my favorite pics of her.*

December 2011

                                                              Today

So, you see--it is purely out of necessity.  To tame this wild beast.

I think God just wanted a little something extra to test me, in the event I got the hang of the whole outfit coordination responsibility.  At the same time, I suppose it's better to have my girl with this kind of hair than my boy.  Can you imagine Justus with this mop?  **This is the part where I wish I was skilled at photoshop and could insert a picture of him with her hair on top.**

I have gotten used to the pretty bows. And I love when Justus tells her she looks beautiful and that he likes her bow.  That, in itself, makes it all worth it.

Wednesday's Winning Words--purposely delayed

I know I was supposed to post winning words yesterday, but I also knew that some early morning activities today would inspire awesome rhetoric from our little man, so I intentionally delayed.  I was not wrong.

At about 6:40 this morning, a College Station landmark, currently known as the Plaza Hotel {formerly known as The Ramada and University Tower} was imploded.  It was (even at 6:40 a.m.) the social event of the summer.  Thousands of people gathered on the polo fields of Texas A&M and the surrounding area to watch the 17-story building at the busiest intersection in town come down.  Meanwhile, down the street, safely inside my office building on the 6th floor, a handful of co-workers and our families gathered to watch the same with Whataburger and coffee in hand.  No need to breathe in all that smoke, right?  I failed in that I just wanted to enjoy the moment, and didn't take pictures or video, but it was a great moment to experience and I knew others would have captured it.  Again, not wrong.  For great coverage of the event (especially if you like watching buildings fall down and go BOOM!), go to http://www.kbtx.com/news/local/headlines/The_Plaza_is_Gone_153567845.html

Our first discussion on the matter started when I went to wake him up at 5:00 a.m.  Given the early start time, I had to dangle a carrot to get him moving.  So, I immediately started in with "We have to get up and going so we don't miss the explosion."  You have to say "explosion" to a 5-year old.  It is infinitely more exciting to think about than "implosion."  Don't know why, but it is fact.  As he stretched and started moving around he said very matter-of-factly:  "Mommy, we are not going to be late.  The men are just now at the store getting all the dynamite they are going to need.  We will be there right on time."  Aahh, if only it were that simple, right?

So we get to my office about 15-20 minutes before it is set to blow.  We had the live feed up on my computer in my office as it was happening.  I should have known this was a bad idea.  While waiting, Justus kept looking at the computer because he said he didn't want to miss it.  I said, "Justus, this is actually happening right outside the window.  Look there, not at the computer if you want to see it happen!"  I suppose that from a distance to a 5-year-old, until the moment it happened, nothing looked that different and the build-up is lost on him.  Watching it on tv, with all the commentary, made more sense.

They had been talking about it a lot at school lately, and he knew that it would be there in the morning, and then gone by the afternoon.  So, right after it happened and things started to settle, he said "Mommy, it blowed up and then it won't be there in the afternoon."  I said, "The afternoon?  Justus, it's not there now.  You don't even have to wait until this afternoon!"  He looks outside and just said "Oh yeah."

Of course, then he asked me to make it happen again.  I wish I could, son.

Although we didn't video it, a bunch of people did and posted on Facebook.  While waiting to get into school, he kept watching a friend's posted video over and over and over.  I mean, at least 10 times while we sat in the parking lot.  "That is SOOO AWESOME!" is all I kept hearing.  Then we got to school and several of his friends had watched it live too.  They were all so excited talking about what they had seen.

There is very little that is as entertaining as a boy's excitment over destruction.

I'm so glad he got to see it, and I hope he remembers it fondly as a neat childhood experience...

now where's my coffee??

**The whole family was there, but not surprisingly, Delaney was not very interested. 

 She liked the Whataburger though.**

Speak up--there's something in my ear

I know what you're thinking:  Karen, again with the ears? 

Yes.  Always with the ears.

It's kind of our thing.  Apparently.

Because of his surgery last summer and the resulting big hole in his left ear and the tube in his right ear, Justus was recently fitted for custom earplugs for his swimming pleasure (and the preservation of my sanity) this summer.  Yay!  They aren't in yet, but they will be red/blue/purple swirled together.  He is super excited for them to come in.  This is him getting fitted for them.  He thought the pink foam was really cool.  Note that it is pink.  That will be important later.

When we first went in for him to be fitted a couple weeks ago, he apparently had an ear infection in his left ear (surgery ear) and we didn't know it.  So, we had to do antibiotic drops for a week, and go for a recheck before they would do the molds.  He was disappointed that we didn't get the earplugs right then.  Last Friday was the big day for the fitting and he's been talking abou them at least daily since.  Lord, let those plugs get here soon!!

So, this week, he's mentioned from time to time that his ear was itching or bothering him a bit.  We figured it was still just from the ear infection.  But, it seemed more than usual post-infection, so I was actually thinking of calling the ENT again just to run it by him.  I'm somewhat hyper-sensitive about that left ear.  Or, so I thought I was.

Last night at dinner, Justus mentioned his ear was bothering him and itching and said it was "the hard pink shiny thing."  I thought he was talking about the PINK foam from the fitting.  He mumbled something about the hard pink shiny thing with the grey back.  Didn't know what he was talking about, moved on.

After I put Delaney to bed, I went in to Justus' room for prayers, where he and Kidd were reading in bed.  Since they were mid-book, I went to snuggle up next to him and listen to the rest of the book with them.  Then, I saw this:

I freaked out almost broke into tears, took a deep breath, and hollered at asked Justus what was in his ear.  He immediately cried and covered his face with the sheet (certainly not at all because of my reaction).  He said he stuck it in there "yesterday."  So yes, "hard pink shiny thing" exists.  In his ear.  Where he said it was.  oops.

I get him up and tell him we're going to the ER, to which he says he doesn't want to go and wants me to get it out with scissors.  Hmmmm....NO.  On the way to the ER, I find out the rest of the story.  He put it in his ear on MONDAY and did it because he thought it was an earplug!!!!  Yes, 4 days have gone by as it is now Thursday evening when it's discovered.  I'm officially the most inattentive mother ever.  I asked if he told a teacher, which he said he did and she told him not to put anything in his ear anymore.  Methinks he failed to mention that it was stuck there and wouldn't come out.  So, while I continued to overreact at the very thought of a foreign object in the ear that has a huge hole and not a bone to be found anywhere inside remained calm as we pulled into the ER, I hear this quiet and sad "it's all my fault...it's all my fault..."  poor kid.  Yes, I finally got it together then and filled the role of good and reassuring mom who hugged and promised him it wasn't a big deal and that they just needed to get it out.  I just wanted him to know that when something like that happens, he has to tell someone and keep telling someone until it's taken care of.  I know he didn't because he just worried he was going to get in trouble.

Despite the lying, piece of junk sign in front of the hospital that promised only a 6 minute wait, we waited almost an hour before we were in the triage where the nurse on duty was making him laugh about the various ways they would get it out, like blowing an air hose into his bellybutton all the way up and pushing it out his ear from the inside.  Thank God for people like that in moments where frustration has firmly taken root.  And 2 hours later, we had this:

The hard pink shiny thing that came from the floor of the block center at school, next to a penny for good measure.  It's not nearly as big as what I originally saw jammed up in my child's head.  I suppose it never is.  He didn't fuss or complain at all about them getting it out and went home and immediately crashed out, since it was waaaay past his bedtime, and ours.

So, another story in the adventure of the left ear in the Royal household is in the books. 

Lesson of the day, kids:  Don't stick hard pink shiny things in your ear and not tell anyone for 4 days!

Pomp and Circumstance

Pre-K graduation was yesterday.  Yes, Justus has met the requisite basic skills to move on to Kindergarten (whew!).  So, we gathered with the other Friendship Club families and watched our kiddos participate in what is hopefully the first of several graduations.  May they all be so quick (I know, wishful thinking).

Delaney and her friend Jordyn already setting the stage for their graduation in about 4 years.

The processional. 

The whole class.  Aren't they precious?

I'm not sure which song they were singing here, but I promise they are singing, not yawning.

Justus getting his diploma from Ms. Carolina.  We've loved having her as his teacher this year and we know he will miss her and the other teachers very much.

They after-party.  May they always just be having cake and fruit with friends. 

A mom can dream, right?

Delaney outside, waving at everyone inside...and done, ready to go eat!

Justus with his friend Jenna (the afore-mentioned Jordyn's big sister).  Maybe when Delaney and Jordyn graduate, we can retake this picture to see how they've grown.  He will miss Jenna and many of his classmates next year.

So excited Aunt Amber came to watch...

..and Ms. Shanon...

...and Grandma and Grandpa Royal.

Super proud Daddy, Delaney, and Mommy!

READY for KINDERGARTEN!! 

Wednesday's Winning Words

Yesterday, Justus graduated from Pre-K (pictures to come in next post).  We were talking about it as we were getting ready to leave yesterday morning.  He looked at Delaney and said "Delaney, you don't get to graduate, but you get to come watch me graduate.  And maybe....maybe when you are older you'll get to do it too."

Maybe.  Because, you know, it's kind of a big deal.

Mother's Day

I debated about whether to blog about Mother's Day.  You know--more than the one line shout out to all the fabulous MOMs I know.  I know, it seems like a no brainer to most people, but what you may not know about me is that my MOM situation is not your normal run of the mill mom/kid kind of thing.  The {very} short version is that 1) I'm adopted, 2) my adopted mom died when I was 6, and 3) my dad remarried when I was 9.  If you're keeping count, that's 3 moms for this kid.  I have this sort of love/hate relationship with Mother's Day.  Now that I'm a mom, it's more a love/REALLY love/hate thing.  In the end This morning, I decided why not.  Thanks to my unique situation, I think I have a unique perspective.  Each of the above three scenarios is probably enough to keep me in therapy for the rest of my life, but hey, this is free.  I won't bore you with all the details, but on this Mothers Day weekend, I take time to reflect on the impact each of these three very important women has had on me and the kind of mother I am today.  So, bear with me.

In November, I did the daily thanksgiving status update on facebook and I wrote this to celebrate National Adoption Month:  "I am thankful, beyond measure, for the woman who made the near impossible decision over 35 years ago to put my life in the hands of a family who could and would provide for me in a way that she was unable. As a mother myself, I now know that everyday she must think about me and wonder what I look like, what I have become. I cannot even begin to imagine that feeling. I hope she has peace in her heart because I have a beautiful life, every detail of which is different and better because of what she did all those years ago. Because of her I have an amazing family and extended family (shout out to the Nelsons!) who welcomed me and have loved me through every step of my life. I wish the same for anyone else who experiences adoption."  I copy it here because these words still reflect my heart's feelings on the subject of adoption, particularly mine.  I could not be more thankful for the selfless decision this woman made to give me a chance at a life she thought I deserved.  Her gift reminds me daily how lucky I am to be able to hold and love my babies all the time.  I don't have to wonder what they did today or what they look like.  I get to experience life with them and watch them grow!  She has taught me that you may not always know the impact (good or bad) you have on someone else.  She has affected my life beyond comprehension, but she will probably never hear that or truly know the extent of it.  As a result, I think we should always act in a manner that leaves the impression you want to leave, not some unintended negative impact.  I like to think that her decision reminds me to act in the best interest of others at times, even when it's hard to do.  I also think that through her experience, I am reminded that you don't know someone's story just by looking at them.  I hope to teach this to my children and remind them that everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and respect.  You just never know what's going on in people's lives.

Speaking of not knowing what's going on in people's lives (rough transition, I know), this is Julia, my adopted mom, and me circa 1978(ish).  

Julia (everyone called her Julie) had a lot going on in her life, that I, as a little one ,didn't know and didn't need to know.  Nonetheless, what I do know is that she went to great pains to get me!  The adoption process is not a fast, easy or cheap one--something about not just letting any Joe Blow off the street have a baby, but she and my dad persevered and went through it twice.  Lucky me that the first time went well enough that they were willing to do it again.  Julie was sick, a lot, when I was little, which ultimately led to her passing at age 38.  But, you know what I think was so cool about her?  She always had a smile and hugs for me.  I knew that she was sick, but I never knew she was in pain.  She always had a happy face and didn't put her problems on us.  Now, maybe that's the spotty memory of a now thirty-something trying to recall up to age 6, but I really think she never wanted us to see her hurt.  A totally different aspect of strength than what my birth mother possessed, but still one that I find valuable to have witnessed.  I know I will have bad days and really awful moments.  I also know that it is okay for my kids to see me cry, but there are a lot of things in this world that children shouldn't have to experience or even know.  Their time to be grown ups will come.  Childhood should remain an innocent playground for imagination and fun.  I know to not put my adult burdens on our kids.  Admittedly, this is the hate part of Mother's Day for me--although I have a wonderful life and am deeply blessed by all that I have, I miss Julie, particularly on Mother's Day.  I have plenty to celebrate on this day, both in the fantastic mothers I know, and in my life as a mother.  Nonetheless, I wish that she had had more Mother's Day to celebrate and be told how amazing she was.

Finally, this is Darla. 

Darla is a brave woman.   Having not had kids of her own, she still ventured into a marriage with a man who had two young ones!  Darla has been a shining example of a professional woman who still managed to make it to softball games, choir and band concerts, etc.  I know that much of my own independence and belief that I can do it all (or at least should be able to) come from the example she set.  She is a smart woman who took on quite a challenge 25+ years ago and I am so glad she did.  Talk about strength!   Life with us Bargers was not always easy.  Our relationship has progressed from parent/child to adult friends, and I love having her in my life.  Oh, and she's a natural at the whole grandmother thing.  Man, those kids love her!  I hope that I can raise Justus and Delaney to see the same strong and loving example that I did, and that they both know that the things going on in their lives are very important to me.

So, you see, I am a very, very lucky girl.  Three outstanding women, all influencing the kind of woman and mother I am.  Of course, we are all influenced by those around us.  I just sort of think I hit the mother jackpot in that they are all pretty special ladies, and I get to celebrate them all on the same day.  And this is not even going into grandmothers, great-grandmothers etc. 

Tomorrow (and every day, really) I will revel in the joy of me being a mother, but today, I just want to give a very special thanks and Happy Mother's Day to these three amazing ladies and all the other MOMs in the world who affect people in ways you can't even imagine.  YOU ARE SO LOVED AND APPRECIATED!!

Wednesday's Winning Words

Justus and I recently heard fire engine sirens coming down the street, and he says:


"Mommy, do you hear that?  Something must be on fire... 

...or a cat is stuck in a tree."

Me thinks someone has been watching too much Looney Tunes lately.

Blah, Blah, Blah[g]...

Everyone has a blog.  Or so it seems.  Yes, I realize that it is counterintuitive that I would use my blog to complaint about the overabundance of blogs.  Or, is it?  Truth be told, I'm not really complaining that there are too many.  I'm more bothered that there are too many good ones that I want to read regularly, and not enough time in the day, week, month, or even year, to read them all and keep up.  This has been weighing on me for awhile, so I thought it may be useful to discuss.  I categorize blogs as follows:

1) Blogs of people I know.  I LOVE these and am committed to checking in on them as often as is possible, which is not nearly as often as I would like.  I love them because they are written by people I *actually* know and have pictures of adorable kids/pets/other family I *actually* know (or whose parents I actually know in cases where I haven't seen them since said adorable kids/pets/other family came into the picture).  They give me the opportunity to feel like I'm kind of keeping up with what is going on in their lives, even if we don't talk that often.  I count the blogs of a couple amazing photographers in this group because, well, who doesn't love looking at beautiful pictures.  And it requires very little reading.

2) Blogs of random people that started off small and somehow exploded into a regional or national sensation:  There are a couple of these that I would really like to keep up with everyday (hello, Momastery, I'm talking to you) because they are outstanding...which, I'm sure, is why the explosion in popularity.  But, the fact is-- I just can't.  More about that in a bit.

3) Professional blogs of people/companies who have blogs because they think have to:  These, to me, are almost a complete waste.  I think some companies feel like they have to have a blog because it's the hip thing to do, and "our public" want some insight into the inner workings of our company.  No, I want a functional user-friendly website where I can find all the how-to's/recipes/coupons, etc. without having to read a blog because I don't have time to read your blog anyway.

I think all of this is to share that at some point I have become overwhelmed by all there is out there in Internet land that I *want* to see, experience, learn.  I now know of enough websites or blogs that I would truly like to invest time to take in the content, but I now don't have the time to do it.  Whereas before, I would go to the web if I had something specific I needed to know.  I'm not exactly sure what changed, but I think I really could spend all day just surfing the web, reading blogs that interest me and, if there's time left over, checking websites.  That used to seem like a total waste to me and I didn't quite get how people could do it.  Now, between all the blogs I already ready and the ones I'd love to really get into, Pinterest, Facebook, Houzz, imaginary vacation planning and menu planning, I could literally have spend an entire day or more.

The point?  Nothing really, except that I hope that I'm not alone in the battle between my desire to spend an abundance of time online (don't even get me started on the shopping!) and my need to keep my job and family intact which prevents me from attending to said first desire.  Show me some love so I don't feel like such a ridiculous mess.  Or, in the alternative, tell me how you do it.  How do you spend time on all these great blogs and still manage the daily duties of work, family, personal care?  What is your great balancing act?

Wednesday's Winning Words--Save the dolphins

I love how each new subject of study at school brings a new career aspiration for my sweet boy.  This week, they are apparently learning about the ocean and ocean life--a longtime favorite of Justus'.

Today, he informed me that when he grows up, he's going to save dolphins for his job.


Me: "Very cool."

J: "Wanna know how?"

Me: "Absolutely!"

J: "I'm going to fight off the mean attack sharks with my sword and shield."