What neither of us was thinking about at the time is what that meant for me in taking Justus to school that morning. It is a short one-mile trip from our house to where I drop him off for school. Usually, it's a mile filled with whatever song Justus wants to listen to, and made up stories of Jedi Knights or warrior ninjas. Yesterday, it was literally one of the most excruciating one-mile trips of my life. So many questions, and because of our "daily grind," so little time.
"Mommy, did God make the tornado that destroyed all those homes in Oklahoma?"
"Mommy, why did God let all those people get killed?"
"Mommy, did you see that there are still 24 people they can't find? Are they under all that trash? Why did God do that? Did he just mess up and make a mistake?...."
With the little bit of time I had, we talked about God's plan and how we don't understand it but have to have faith in it and you have to see Him in the aftermath rather than in the midst of the tragedy. But seriously, how do you get a 6 year old to buy into that? You would think, having experienced the death of a parent at his very same age, and somehow finding my way back to God, that I could explain these things to him. I have never felt more useless as a parent. All I could do after he left the car, seemingly satisfied with my answers, was get teary and pray that God would provide me with the words to answer and comfort my child(ren) when these horrible tragedies, which seem to occur all too often these days, happen and strike his heart. I wanted to sit and talk with him for however long it took to get him to understand, but maybe the beauty of the moment was that is was just that--a moment. One brief chance to hit the overall theme and then let him go on his way and either think about it more or not. How much more explanation would have sunk in anyway? I am certain had I had more time, it would have been much too overwhelming or he would have just tuned out.
There are so many tough parenting moments and often, like yesterday, they just strike out of nowhere. We want to be able to make the most of a teaching moment, but it's just not always possible. Let us understand that, not beat ourselves up about it, and continue to do the best we can. After all, we are all just fine and we know our parents didn't always have the right answers...
Posts
